The Smile by Nicholas Chanese

Author:Nicholas Chanese
Language: eng
Format: mobi
Tags: Urban Life, Literary, Literature & Fiction, Genre Fiction, Urban
ISBN: 1450526012
Publisher: Createspace
Published: 2010-01-02T06:00:00+00:00

CHAPTER 9

Two hours.

That’s how long I’ve been walking.

I walked from Momma’s apartment to the school. I don’t know why. I guess it’s just instinct. You just start walking, and you don’t really think about it because your mind is somewhere else, and you end up going someplace familiar. I make the walk almost every day, so my body’s just used to it, probably.

After I got there, I walked around the track a couple times. There were some other people there—old ladies and moms with strollers.

I used to run on the track team last year, but I ain’t gonna this year. There’s too much shit to deal with. There’s all this drama on the team—who runs what, who faster than who.

Last year I was like the sixth person, an alternate, for the relay team. I did a lot more watching than running, but I know I was faster than at least two of the other girls that ran every meet. I just didn’t kiss the coach’s ass like they did, and he hated me anyway for missing practices—even though that shit wasn’t even my fault. I liked running and racing, but being on the team wasn’t worth all the other shit that came with it.

That’s kinda what it feels like with Tariq right now—not worth all this shit.

After the school I walked down Main Street toward the south end of town. It was weird. Before I knew it, I had walked a few miles, but I couldn’t remember how I got there or what had happened around me.

I do remember that I kept looking at the road. I was looking for Momma’s car, to see if she was driving around looking for me. I thought I saw her once, but I’m not really sure. Either way, the car didn’t stop. I don’t know if she would even come to look for me or not. Probably not—not after what I did.

I’m still mad at her. I’m mad at her and Tariq. He could’ve done anything. He could have stopped me, or he could have taken me away, or he could have protected me. But he didn’t—he didn’t do shit. He didn’t even stand up for himself. He left.

Maybe I understand it, though. I guess I’d be scared if that all went down right in front of me. But he let Momma intimidate and hit him like she used to intimidate and hit me.

She had no right to beat him or tell him to leave. He was there with me. I should have been the one to tell him when he goes.

But that’s how she is. She don’t give a fuck about what I want to do or about other people. Like when I did run track, she gave me this whole speech about how it “put a strain on her” to try to find someone to watch those boys during the afternoons when I had practice.

That’s why I missed those practices—why I didn’t get to run in one fucking meet. Because of

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